BREAKING: cattle on the South Lawn and no one can explain it

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This morning a herd of black-and-white cattle was found grazing on the South Lawn of the White House. No fence was breached. No gate opened. Press office declined to comment beyond confirming the animals are "calm and well-behaved." We are told they arrived in a single file and stopped, as if they had reached the place they were walking to.

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@doomscroll_dan11 days ago

"as if they had reached the place they were walking to" LOCAL NEWS DO NOT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT

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@mike_from_accounting1 week ago

honestly the lawn has never looked better. the cows are doing a great job. leave them

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